The movie Mr. Holland's Opus incorporates an old saying, "Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans." Recently, I have been thinking about those moments where you have a choice to change the course of your life. Sometimes those moments occur within a second and you may not even realize how the outcome will shape your future. Then other moments are more recognizable, those are the moments where you stop and think before taking action.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. So I am inclined to think that even when making a split second decision, we make the right choice. Still, it can cause you to question your decision when you look back. I think about some of the choices I have made in my life and I think how different my life would be if I had chosen the other path.
I am a person that believes you should stand by your decisions...never do something you may regret later. And as an adult I have learned that isn't always possible. Still, our lives are what we make of them. And that is what I believe that saying means. Don't get so caught up in planning your life that you forget to look around and enjoy your surroundings. That is my goal for 2009. I vow to not be so absorbed in my job that I forget to appreciate how lucky I am. This is a thank you to all my friends and family that I have neglected all these years. God bless you all for standing in my shadow when I was too selfish to share the limelight.
Best wishes to everyone that may read this and Happy New Year to everyone as well!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Second chances...
This past week has been very interesting to say the least. My sister interviewed for her first internship. It was crazy at work and I learned a piece of information that was about 9 months too late. I spent my first Thanksgiving completely alone. Still, after all the loneliness, craziness and disappointments I have discovered another one of life's great lessons. It is the lesson that life will put curves in your road, but it is impossible to do a u-turn and go back unchanged.
I tell my associates everyday that we all make choices. There will always be consequences for those choices, good or bad. As I have learned this year, even though we may be aware of that...we very rarely are aware of how our choices affect those around us. I never believed my life would turn out the way it has, but when I look back at my choices I wonder how I could not have seen this outcome. Regardless, my life hasn't turned out all that bad. It isn't what I had planned it to be, but maybe that's the beauty of it.
I have loved and lost. I have ventured and not gained. I have jumped and fallen. But through all life's curves and disappointments, I have found wonderful friends. So it is with that conviction that I can still travel home and not cry. I can still go to work and not have a breakdown. And most of all, I can recognize that when I allow "moments" to pass with potential nice guys...those moments are few and all too far between. Still, once the moment is gone it is hard to jump back in and recreate it.
Yet, as of late I find myself wishing for the innocence of youth. Hoping that I will open my front door one day to find Mr. Nice Guy who wants to grow old with me. Although we can never go back unchanged, when we do visit past haunts we see things from a completely new perspective. That is the point my friends. You can go back, it will not be the same, but it can be a new beginning.
I tell my associates everyday that we all make choices. There will always be consequences for those choices, good or bad. As I have learned this year, even though we may be aware of that...we very rarely are aware of how our choices affect those around us. I never believed my life would turn out the way it has, but when I look back at my choices I wonder how I could not have seen this outcome. Regardless, my life hasn't turned out all that bad. It isn't what I had planned it to be, but maybe that's the beauty of it.
I have loved and lost. I have ventured and not gained. I have jumped and fallen. But through all life's curves and disappointments, I have found wonderful friends. So it is with that conviction that I can still travel home and not cry. I can still go to work and not have a breakdown. And most of all, I can recognize that when I allow "moments" to pass with potential nice guys...those moments are few and all too far between. Still, once the moment is gone it is hard to jump back in and recreate it.
Yet, as of late I find myself wishing for the innocence of youth. Hoping that I will open my front door one day to find Mr. Nice Guy who wants to grow old with me. Although we can never go back unchanged, when we do visit past haunts we see things from a completely new perspective. That is the point my friends. You can go back, it will not be the same, but it can be a new beginning.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
New places...new faces.
I have finished moving into my new place. I am about 98% unpacked and settled in. I must admit that it feels good to have the stress of uncertainty behind me. My new place is a duplex, not a house. Although it is smaller than my house in Serra Mesa, it is a good size for me. Most importantly it is place I can hang my hat and call home for awhile.
It is true that this year was very stressful on me with this move. Still, one good thing did come of this...I managed to find me again. For the first time in years, I feel adventurous. I don't want to be the girl who settles for the here and now. I want to be the girl that is always testing the waters. Thankfully after all that I experienced this year, that girl has resurfaced.
This upcoming year will be a year of more changes. I can't wait to start travelling again in 2009. I will begin my "new" job search as soon as January arrives. I will also be looking at places to live in Los Angeles, Chicago or possibly the east coast. Best of all, I will enjoy every minute with my friends. While I am still in Cali, I want to enjoy all the beautiful places that I have taken for granted these past 6 years.
I'll leave you with the thought that has consumed me for weeks: Life is too short, don't forget to stop and relish in the wonder that is all around you.
It is true that this year was very stressful on me with this move. Still, one good thing did come of this...I managed to find me again. For the first time in years, I feel adventurous. I don't want to be the girl who settles for the here and now. I want to be the girl that is always testing the waters. Thankfully after all that I experienced this year, that girl has resurfaced.
This upcoming year will be a year of more changes. I can't wait to start travelling again in 2009. I will begin my "new" job search as soon as January arrives. I will also be looking at places to live in Los Angeles, Chicago or possibly the east coast. Best of all, I will enjoy every minute with my friends. While I am still in Cali, I want to enjoy all the beautiful places that I have taken for granted these past 6 years.
I'll leave you with the thought that has consumed me for weeks: Life is too short, don't forget to stop and relish in the wonder that is all around you.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween!
Halloween is one of those holidays that is just fun and ageless. For kids halloween is about the thrill of dressing like your favorite character and don't forget the candy. When you are in your twenties halloween is about the parties! As a parent halloween is about ensuring that your child has a great time. Others find joy in greeting the trick or treaters with candy when the doorbell is rung. But no matter what your age, halloween will always bring out your inner child. Regardless of your age, I wish everyone a very happy halloween this year!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Perspective
Today I opened a fortune cookie. My fortune was: Your perspective will shift. That was the source of minor speculation amongst a few coworkers. But tonight, I realized that coincidentally that fortune is true.
My moving deadline has been approaching rapidly. At first I was distressed at the mere thought of having to move back to Wisconsin. Then the thought began to grow on me. Or as I like to say, I was talking myself into it. As I continued to view rental properties that were overpriced, Wisconsin began looking better and better. Then I came across a duplex that was within my price range and somewhat cute on the inside. It was the only rental that I applied for out here. Upon receiving my application the property management group let me know that there were several applicants ahead of me. It seemed that my chances of staying in California were getting slimmer.
With that in mind I began making plans to move back home. I was talking with friends and family on a daily basis. And I started to consider that as I had gotten older, home might not be so bad anymore. I reminded myself that it would be nice to be home for the holidays. It also would be nice to see my friends on a regular basis, not just an hour in an overbooked vacation schedule. Just as I was becoming comfortable with the idea of living in the midwest again, I received notification that I was approved for the duplex.
Now I had to consider whether staying was the right thing for me to do. It was then that I realized my perspective on life had changed. I used to believe that I could only be happy living in California. Even as a young girl, I swore I would spend my adult life living out west. After alot of introspection, I realized that staying for one year would allow me to pursue the career options I am interested in. But, if I am unhappy with my situation in a year, I can still go home. I can go home knowing that I gave it my all and I wouldn't have to wonder what if?
Now, I believe that home is where your heart is. Home is not the kind of house you have or the town you live in. Home is what you make of it. Home is where you build your friends and family. Home is where you are happy.
It's funny how your perspective changes as you go through life. It's ironic that I had to move 2,300 miles away from home to understand the meaning of home. And for once my fortune cookie came true.
My moving deadline has been approaching rapidly. At first I was distressed at the mere thought of having to move back to Wisconsin. Then the thought began to grow on me. Or as I like to say, I was talking myself into it. As I continued to view rental properties that were overpriced, Wisconsin began looking better and better. Then I came across a duplex that was within my price range and somewhat cute on the inside. It was the only rental that I applied for out here. Upon receiving my application the property management group let me know that there were several applicants ahead of me. It seemed that my chances of staying in California were getting slimmer.
With that in mind I began making plans to move back home. I was talking with friends and family on a daily basis. And I started to consider that as I had gotten older, home might not be so bad anymore. I reminded myself that it would be nice to be home for the holidays. It also would be nice to see my friends on a regular basis, not just an hour in an overbooked vacation schedule. Just as I was becoming comfortable with the idea of living in the midwest again, I received notification that I was approved for the duplex.
Now I had to consider whether staying was the right thing for me to do. It was then that I realized my perspective on life had changed. I used to believe that I could only be happy living in California. Even as a young girl, I swore I would spend my adult life living out west. After alot of introspection, I realized that staying for one year would allow me to pursue the career options I am interested in. But, if I am unhappy with my situation in a year, I can still go home. I can go home knowing that I gave it my all and I wouldn't have to wonder what if?
Now, I believe that home is where your heart is. Home is not the kind of house you have or the town you live in. Home is what you make of it. Home is where you build your friends and family. Home is where you are happy.
It's funny how your perspective changes as you go through life. It's ironic that I had to move 2,300 miles away from home to understand the meaning of home. And for once my fortune cookie came true.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Fantasy Football
Several people at my job decided to start a fantasy football league this year. I was asked to co-captain a team with a co-worker. I must admit that at first I was hesitant to join. I remember stating that my knowledge of football was limited...limited to the Green Bay Packers. The response I received was, "You are from Wisconsin, isn't football in your DNA?" Let me be the first to clear up that misconception; being a Wisconsinite does not automatically make you a football genius. Still my curiosity was peaked, so I began my fantasy football journey.
My co-captain and I researched every player possible prior to our draft date. We studied all the numbers and learned the rules of the league. On draft day, I was a little more than nervous. We were one of the last in the draft lineup so we didn't get all of our first choices. Still, we were determined to make it work with what we had and of course try to make good pick ups off the waiver wire.
Our team name started out as Green Lightning. A tribute to my Packers and to my co-captain's Chargers. We outlasted all the boys in the first four weeks and after week 4 were still undefeated. As a tribute to our star player that week, Brett Favre, we re-named our team to honor his amazing performance. Six touchdowns, need I say more? After week 4, I began to realize just how much fun fantasy football was.
We are now in week 8 and I am certain that I have never watched this much football in my life. And yes, I grew up in Wisconsin! We are no longer undefeated, but our record is decent at 5-2. I think I can speak for my co-captain as well when I say that this experience has been more fun than I ever thought it would be.
My final word on this subject is: if you ever get the opportunity to play fantasy football...do it. It doesn't matter how skilled you are at the game, how much knowledge you have of the game or what your gender is. I have had fun with this and I am sure I will play again next year!
My co-captain and I researched every player possible prior to our draft date. We studied all the numbers and learned the rules of the league. On draft day, I was a little more than nervous. We were one of the last in the draft lineup so we didn't get all of our first choices. Still, we were determined to make it work with what we had and of course try to make good pick ups off the waiver wire.
Our team name started out as Green Lightning. A tribute to my Packers and to my co-captain's Chargers. We outlasted all the boys in the first four weeks and after week 4 were still undefeated. As a tribute to our star player that week, Brett Favre, we re-named our team to honor his amazing performance. Six touchdowns, need I say more? After week 4, I began to realize just how much fun fantasy football was.
We are now in week 8 and I am certain that I have never watched this much football in my life. And yes, I grew up in Wisconsin! We are no longer undefeated, but our record is decent at 5-2. I think I can speak for my co-captain as well when I say that this experience has been more fun than I ever thought it would be.
My final word on this subject is: if you ever get the opportunity to play fantasy football...do it. It doesn't matter how skilled you are at the game, how much knowledge you have of the game or what your gender is. I have had fun with this and I am sure I will play again next year!
Thoughts on friendship
A few years ago I received an email with a poem that I initially thought was cheesy. I remember reading it and instantly deleting it. However, with everything that I have gone through this year, I have found myself thinking about the message in that poem. I was not able to locate the exact poem that was sent to me, but it was very similar to this:
"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people become friends and stay awhile...leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts and we are never quite the same.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."
This poem is a bit more religious than the one that I received. And while I am not a very religious person who believes that friends are heavensent, I do think that the basic underlying message of this poem is true. I have learned that you have many friends that are seasonal and while they may serve a purpose in your life at that time, they are not permanent fixtures in your life. But, the few that are lifetime friends are the most amazing people you will ever know...
"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people become friends and stay awhile...leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts and we are never quite the same.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant."
This poem is a bit more religious than the one that I received. And while I am not a very religious person who believes that friends are heavensent, I do think that the basic underlying message of this poem is true. I have learned that you have many friends that are seasonal and while they may serve a purpose in your life at that time, they are not permanent fixtures in your life. But, the few that are lifetime friends are the most amazing people you will ever know...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Moving
As many people already know, moving can be stressful. Since it has been awhile since I last moved, I have recently just remembered how hard it can be.
I grew up in a small town just north of Madison, WI. I lived in Wisconsin until I was 26 years old. It was then that I made one of the riskiest moves of my life. I packed all my belongings and moved out to southern California with a friend. Neither of us knew a soul in California. We only had each other. I barely had gotten a job and was commuting 1 1/2 hours to work everyday. I was so homesick I sometimes think it is a miracle I made it out here.
The first year was tough. Spending Thanksgiving 2,300 miles away from friends and family is not an easy experience. But, after the first year, things started to improve. My roommate and I moved from Oceanside down to San Diego. We found a 3 bedroom house that was bigger than my childhood home to rent! As 5 years passed living in this house, I had found several amazing people that I am fortunate to call my friends. While I was just beginning to enjoy life in California, I don't think I really appreciated how lucky I was at the time.
Although I reside in San Diego, I have spent as much time as possible in the Los Angeles area. Don't get me wrong, San Diego is a beautiful place. But, I have always loved the city. Earlier this year, I had wanted to relocate to Los Angeles. I wanted to take a chance again, find a new job and maybe figure out what it is I want to do when I grow up. Yet, as the year progressed I began questioning that thought. So I remained in San Diego, hoping I would have enough time to create my next plan on this road of life.
Now it has been 6 years since I left my home state of Wisconsin. My roommate has bought a townhouse and I am forced with having to make a big decision. Should I stay or should I go? The cost of living is not cheap in San Diego. And while I would miss my friends that have become my extended family, I am thinking it is time to go home. While you may be asking yourself what would possess me to leave this for cold weather, I can tell you it is not the thought of shoveling snow that is pulling me home.
I have learned that life is what you make of it. And where you live is just that, a place. It is the people in your life and your experiences that make you who you are. I still have a couple weeks to make my final decision, but spending the holidays with family is starting to sound better everyday. There is something about home that is actually comforting.
I grew up in a small town just north of Madison, WI. I lived in Wisconsin until I was 26 years old. It was then that I made one of the riskiest moves of my life. I packed all my belongings and moved out to southern California with a friend. Neither of us knew a soul in California. We only had each other. I barely had gotten a job and was commuting 1 1/2 hours to work everyday. I was so homesick I sometimes think it is a miracle I made it out here.
The first year was tough. Spending Thanksgiving 2,300 miles away from friends and family is not an easy experience. But, after the first year, things started to improve. My roommate and I moved from Oceanside down to San Diego. We found a 3 bedroom house that was bigger than my childhood home to rent! As 5 years passed living in this house, I had found several amazing people that I am fortunate to call my friends. While I was just beginning to enjoy life in California, I don't think I really appreciated how lucky I was at the time.
Although I reside in San Diego, I have spent as much time as possible in the Los Angeles area. Don't get me wrong, San Diego is a beautiful place. But, I have always loved the city. Earlier this year, I had wanted to relocate to Los Angeles. I wanted to take a chance again, find a new job and maybe figure out what it is I want to do when I grow up. Yet, as the year progressed I began questioning that thought. So I remained in San Diego, hoping I would have enough time to create my next plan on this road of life.
Now it has been 6 years since I left my home state of Wisconsin. My roommate has bought a townhouse and I am forced with having to make a big decision. Should I stay or should I go? The cost of living is not cheap in San Diego. And while I would miss my friends that have become my extended family, I am thinking it is time to go home. While you may be asking yourself what would possess me to leave this for cold weather, I can tell you it is not the thought of shoveling snow that is pulling me home.
I have learned that life is what you make of it. And where you live is just that, a place. It is the people in your life and your experiences that make you who you are. I still have a couple weeks to make my final decision, but spending the holidays with family is starting to sound better everyday. There is something about home that is actually comforting.
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