It has been a long time since I posted on here. So I figured it was time to put up one more post with only 2 hours left in 2009.
2009 had less changes than 2008. There were no fireworks for July 4th, no turkey at Thanksgiving, but there was one last Christmas dinner in Cali. And there were many good times at Packers training camp, the Packer pre-season game in Phoenix and of course the opening game at Lambeau against the Bears.
As this year comes to a close, like most people, I am reflecting on the memories of this past year...but looking forward to the memories that will be made in 2010. I am moving back to WI this upcoming year. I need to go home and "re-group" to determine my path in life. I am looking forward to spending time with family and friends that I have missed for 8 years.
I will miss the friends I have made here in San Diego. I will also miss the beautiful sunny weather in the winter. But weather is just weather. Life isn't about where you live, it's about the choices you make no matter where you live.
As I embark on my new adventure, I wish all my family and friends a very Happy New Year. May 2010 bring you all that you have hoped for!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Coming home
Last weekend I was talking with a good friend as we ventured in Del Mar. We were chatting about life, dreams and disappointments. I had mentioned that since cutting ties with several people in Cali, life has been a little lonely. But, I also mentioned that the strangest part of all is that I have reconnected with several people back in WI. I told my friend that I can trust those people in WI more than I could ever trust the people I thought were friends in Cali. I asked my friend if she thought I was going crazy and she told me the best thing I have ever heard. She said that I wasn't crazy, but that I had just gone home.
After thinking about what she said I came to the conclusion that she was right. I have said this before and I am going to say it again, more and more I am feeling like my old self. Which makes me believe that it's true what other people say, that a person never really changes. Little fragments of a person may change, yet the core remains constant. Therefore, it makes sense that I have come home in a way. I am seeking out that which I can depend on. I am searching for comfort and stability. Yet, it still makes me laugh that I had to venture over 2,000 miles away from friends and family to realize how lucky I am.
I am not sure where this road called life will take me. I merely know that I am still sight seeing. While my good friends back home are far away in distance, they are only a phone call away for a long chat. And it is a great feeling to be at home.
After thinking about what she said I came to the conclusion that she was right. I have said this before and I am going to say it again, more and more I am feeling like my old self. Which makes me believe that it's true what other people say, that a person never really changes. Little fragments of a person may change, yet the core remains constant. Therefore, it makes sense that I have come home in a way. I am seeking out that which I can depend on. I am searching for comfort and stability. Yet, it still makes me laugh that I had to venture over 2,000 miles away from friends and family to realize how lucky I am.
I am not sure where this road called life will take me. I merely know that I am still sight seeing. While my good friends back home are far away in distance, they are only a phone call away for a long chat. And it is a great feeling to be at home.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Heartache
At 32 years old, I have found that life will throw you a lot of curveballs. Yet, some of the hardest to overcome are the disappointments in love.
As a child I believed in the Cinderella story. I thought that Prince Charming would sweep this princess off my feet. I was hopeful that love would be magnificant and I would live happily ever after. As a teenager, I was in love with the idea of true love. I still believed that it would find me if I was just patient and let it arrive. As an adult, I learned that true love is what hurts the most. It can break a person and change his/her life forever.
I have heard the saying that you cannot die from a broken heart. While I believe that is true, I think that a part of you can die with a broken relationship. No matter how someone deals with a break up, that relationship and all it's aftermath will change him/her. Everyone deals with the loss of love differently. I have recently realized that I have become jaded and bitter in matters of the heart.
While I may be bitter, I realize that the bitterness may fade in time. When I am ready to allow love back in, I will. I also recognize that while love can be painful, it's impossible to run away from it. If your heart hurts, it will hurt no matter where your location. The only way to move on is to reconcile those feelings.
Love is a funny thing. It can be glorious and gut-wrenchingly painful as well. Regardless, if you have ever been in love or are currently in love...you must admit that love changes each and every one of us in it's own unique way. For better or worse, love has shaped who I am today.
As a child I believed in the Cinderella story. I thought that Prince Charming would sweep this princess off my feet. I was hopeful that love would be magnificant and I would live happily ever after. As a teenager, I was in love with the idea of true love. I still believed that it would find me if I was just patient and let it arrive. As an adult, I learned that true love is what hurts the most. It can break a person and change his/her life forever.
I have heard the saying that you cannot die from a broken heart. While I believe that is true, I think that a part of you can die with a broken relationship. No matter how someone deals with a break up, that relationship and all it's aftermath will change him/her. Everyone deals with the loss of love differently. I have recently realized that I have become jaded and bitter in matters of the heart.
While I may be bitter, I realize that the bitterness may fade in time. When I am ready to allow love back in, I will. I also recognize that while love can be painful, it's impossible to run away from it. If your heart hurts, it will hurt no matter where your location. The only way to move on is to reconcile those feelings.
Love is a funny thing. It can be glorious and gut-wrenchingly painful as well. Regardless, if you have ever been in love or are currently in love...you must admit that love changes each and every one of us in it's own unique way. For better or worse, love has shaped who I am today.
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