Saturday, November 29, 2008

Second chances...

This past week has been very interesting to say the least. My sister interviewed for her first internship. It was crazy at work and I learned a piece of information that was about 9 months too late. I spent my first Thanksgiving completely alone. Still, after all the loneliness, craziness and disappointments I have discovered another one of life's great lessons. It is the lesson that life will put curves in your road, but it is impossible to do a u-turn and go back unchanged.

I tell my associates everyday that we all make choices. There will always be consequences for those choices, good or bad. As I have learned this year, even though we may be aware of that...we very rarely are aware of how our choices affect those around us. I never believed my life would turn out the way it has, but when I look back at my choices I wonder how I could not have seen this outcome. Regardless, my life hasn't turned out all that bad. It isn't what I had planned it to be, but maybe that's the beauty of it.

I have loved and lost. I have ventured and not gained. I have jumped and fallen. But through all life's curves and disappointments, I have found wonderful friends. So it is with that conviction that I can still travel home and not cry. I can still go to work and not have a breakdown. And most of all, I can recognize that when I allow "moments" to pass with potential nice guys...those moments are few and all too far between. Still, once the moment is gone it is hard to jump back in and recreate it.

Yet, as of late I find myself wishing for the innocence of youth. Hoping that I will open my front door one day to find Mr. Nice Guy who wants to grow old with me. Although we can never go back unchanged, when we do visit past haunts we see things from a completely new perspective. That is the point my friends. You can go back, it will not be the same, but it can be a new beginning.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

New places...new faces.

I have finished moving into my new place. I am about 98% unpacked and settled in. I must admit that it feels good to have the stress of uncertainty behind me. My new place is a duplex, not a house. Although it is smaller than my house in Serra Mesa, it is a good size for me. Most importantly it is place I can hang my hat and call home for awhile.

It is true that this year was very stressful on me with this move. Still, one good thing did come of this...I managed to find me again. For the first time in years, I feel adventurous. I don't want to be the girl who settles for the here and now. I want to be the girl that is always testing the waters. Thankfully after all that I experienced this year, that girl has resurfaced.

This upcoming year will be a year of more changes. I can't wait to start travelling again in 2009. I will begin my "new" job search as soon as January arrives. I will also be looking at places to live in Los Angeles, Chicago or possibly the east coast. Best of all, I will enjoy every minute with my friends. While I am still in Cali, I want to enjoy all the beautiful places that I have taken for granted these past 6 years.

I'll leave you with the thought that has consumed me for weeks: Life is too short, don't forget to stop and relish in the wonder that is all around you.